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Second Chances

Staying true to our December tradition, we listened to a chapter a day of The Book of Luke. There has been one part that unsettles me.

“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Luke 16:18).

My marriage is a marriage of second chances. Both Andy and I are divorced. In our previous marriages, we didn’t have children and for a laundry list of reasons, they were mistakes. Mistake or not, these experiences helped shape how Andy and I both approach our marriage today. Those marriages may have been errors in love, but my marriage today is not.

For me, my husband is my answered prayer. I love Andy with all of my heart and soul. Besides our children, he is the first person I think of when I wake up and I can’t go to sleep without feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. He is a strong man, a generous provider, a playful father, and the man I want to shuffle along with life well into our old age, wrinkled with white hair, just as much in love as we were when we first met. He is my husband and I am proud to be his wife and the mother of our children.

The strength of our marriage is the linchpin of our family. If our relationship cracks, so do our family. Our marriage is not perfect, and I don’t imagine anyone has a “perfect” relationship. We have conflicts and disagreements, like any other relationship. Circumstances, like pandemic fatigue, isolation, frustration, exhaustion, stress from kids, stress from work (his), self-imposed pressure on myself on a variety of areas, insecurity, annoyances, and so many more situational conditions can exacerbate any sort of tension. Yet, I think a solid marriage grounded in love, trust, honesty, and a shared purpose can weather any disagreement.

As part of my New Year’s Resolutions, I am committing to being a better partner to my husband, and frankly, it starts with me. When I think about my future, as much as I have certain personal and professional goals, they don’t mean anything unless Andy is by my side. I want to be a better listener, not a better debater. I want to be a better supporter, not a better freelancer. I want to be a better partner. Striving towards this goal, I lean once again on my Bible, but this time, I turn to 1st Corinthians for a reminder of biblical love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres” (1st Corinthians 13:4-7).


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